(As far as she knows, anyway.)
To the very nice young man with the blonde hair and the proper manners and the good grades:
You’re going to lose the girl to the very troubled young man with the dark hair and the motorcycle and the threats of expulsion from school.
Keep your good manners and grades if you can. But buy a motorcycle. Learn to ride it. And maybe die your hair a darker color.
Alternatively, you could find a different girl. That is also an option.
To the Chosen One with special gifts:
Prepare for trouble and mayhem and curses now, so it doesn’t surprise you too badly once it inevitably comes up later in the school year.
To the girl who can’t decide:
Personally, I’d pick the one with the motorcycle. But maybe they both have motorcycles. If you’re having that much trouble choosing, you probably shouldn’t go out with either. Wait for someone else to come along. Someone who is more obviously the one.
Someone with a faster and shinier motorcycle.
Not everyone, of course, should make romantic decisions based on material wealth, but I can be selfish like that.
To the young person who believes s/he is fated to be with someone else, maybe the new kid or a mysterious stranger or someone in a picture or a dream (FATED, or STRANGELY COMPELLED BEYOND ALL LOGIC AND REASON):
I don’t know – maybe get that compulsion checked out? Did they put a spell on you? Logic and reason are kind of important, so if someone you don’t know very well sucks the ability to think right out of you, you should maybe keep your distance for a while. They might want to eat you.
It’s just a thought.
To the grown-ups keeping SECRETS from their offspring or their students or their mentees:
The kids are already suspicious of you because they saw The Empire Strikes Back. Just tell them already. Explain things. Listen to them. Don’t waggle your eyebrows and say, “No! You mustn’t go!” That never works.
Sit on that kid if you have to and begin with, “Okay, okay – here’s the story and you’re not going to like it.”
To the one who is hiding his or her secret identity from a significant other:
Your significant other is going to end up dead. And then you are going to be tortured by guilt for the rest of your life.
Second or third date, take your significant other to a candlelit restaurant and say, “So, um. There’s something you should know…”
If you absolutely can’t reveal who you are for some reason, at least teach your significant other some self-defense against whatever it is that – worst case scenario – might show up on the front stoop.
To the children/teenagers trying to figure stuff (especially life-threatening or world-changing stuff) out on their own:
Some grown-ups actually know things. Like how to fix problems. Or what the next step is. Some of them even have relevant life experience that could be helpful. Finding these grown-ups isn’t always a cakewalk, but . . . it’s worth a try.
All of this advice is worth a try. Heed my words, my warnings, Story-People.
(Unless of course you’re in my story, in which case, I’d really appreciate it if you keep the creative problem-solving and communication to a minimum.)
Have a motorcycle.